I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize