I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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