very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
