Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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