Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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