Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
