Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
