Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
