nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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