no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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