I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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