She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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