I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize
