Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy