The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
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Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
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Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.