I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
