hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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