So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
