I saw his package. It spoke to me.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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