Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
