I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
