Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
