You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize