I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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