whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
