i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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