So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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