I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I can't trust your balls anymore.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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