we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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