so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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