I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
