just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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