Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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