i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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