he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
