So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
