if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
