Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
