There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
