i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Randomize
