just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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