hell yes lets make some ravioli
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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