i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
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