Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize