i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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