Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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