Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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