well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
