Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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