Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
