ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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