booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize