There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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