I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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