I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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