Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
