I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize