Pappa wants mamma naked
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!