he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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