well I can't set my house on fire every night
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.