he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
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We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
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He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes