I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.